”Laguna Beach”: Cameron is officially single
It was huge-revelation night on Laguna Beach. I mean, this isn’t Lost — or even The Nine or, God forbid, Six Degrees — so remember that the term ”huge” is relative. But if you’ve been on this journey of self-discovery with us the whole time, this stuff is big:
1. Jessica was in Europe during the weeks of her deeply felt absence This explains why Cameron was left to run free enough to hook up with Kyndra at the dance, thus setting tongues across Laguna Beach wagging. There’s some tongue/making-out joke here, but I’m walking right by it in favor of quoting Jessica, which is always the best thing to do in any situation: ”She’s so stupid,” she said of Kyndra. Then she asked rhetorically, speaking of Kyndra’s motivation to pursue the much-discussed liaison, ”Why? So you can have drama in your life and have something to talk about?” The short answer: Ummm, yes. (Side note: Remember like an episode ago when Kyndra was trying to deny this dance-related snogging? Yeah, that was funny.)
2. Nick W. and Cameron just need to find someone like Anna Kournikova This was the conclusion they reached while playing ping-pong. Totally. That would solve all your problems, boys.
3. Tessa is actually capable of going on a nice date Granted, it was with Cameron’s friend Derek, which gives me pause. And he took her out for sushi, which seems to be the only available date food in Laguna Beach (when there’s no foie gras, anyway). But we’ll take what we can get for our poor little romance-starved darling. He even ordered for her, which was supercute. ”Aww, my little Tessa, you have a boy,” Rocky said, which was kinda patronizing, but I felt the same way. And I’m going to just pretend I didn’t hear Cami’s foreboding statement to Kyndra when they were gossiping about the Tessa-Derek connection: ”If she #@$%s with Derek, $#!@’s gonna hit the fan.” Or something like that. It was hard to tell with the naughty language blanked out. To be fair, the major problem may not be Derek himself as much as it is that Tessa is treading, as Rocky noted, on Kyndra and Cami’s ”turf.” How about that total bitch move they pulled, eating the boys’ barbecue, then bailing the minute Tessa showed up? Even Cameron said, ”It’s like, come on, have a little class, man.”
4. OMG, we know what Tessa’s much-referenced mysterious illness was! She ”got allergic reactions to this medicine,” which put her in the hospital for three weeks, and apparently also altered the course of her life forever. I don’t know what to make of that — it certainly doesn’t sound fun — but what a huge relief to finally know.
5. Cameron and Jessica do not, in fact, belong together Wow, really? Who would’ve guessed? But hearing Cameron say things like ”I’ve been completely honest with you” does have a certain comedic value, no matter what. As do exchanges like this:
Jessica: Don’t get mad.
Cameron: I’m not mad.
Jessica: Your little ”dude” sound always means you’re mad.
Cameron: Did I say ”dude”?
Cameron also said their relationship ”doesn’t work anymore”? I disagree, my friend. Though you couldn’t get any more insight into teenage relationships than when Cameron later told his friends, ”I wasn’t going out with her, I was just seeing her. We were like kinda together, you know?”
No, we don’t. But that’s why we watch.
What do you think? Do Tessa and Derek have a chance? Will Jessica be back this season? Would you miss her if she wasn’t?