”Gilmore Girls”: Talking about being bad
Remember last week when I was all ”Let’s be positive! Gilmore Girls forever!” Well, that was all for show, and I was secretly cursing ever signing up for this stupid TV Watch. It’s one thing to risk comparisons to the inimitable Whitney Pastorek or Josh Wolk. It’s another to realize that your favorite TV comfort food has pulled up heartbreakingly lame and you’ve hitched your wagon to it for a full season. Well, good news, message boarders! This week’s episode was surprisingly sure-footed and had some genuine laughs. I credit the return of Emily and Richard Gilmore, my CW version of Friday Night Lights.
The episode opens with Lorelai and Rory stalling outside the mansion, and all’s right with the world. Inside waits one of the evening’s many delights. A little moppet named Charlotte opens the door and proceeds to steal the entire Friday Night Dinner scene out from everybody (save my beloved Kelly Bishop). Charlotte, who’s studying under Emily’s tutelage for her cotillion, was a welcome addition at the table. This funny little girl with swell comedic timing was played by one Hannah Leigh Dworkin, who looks remarkably like Lindsay Lohan circa The Parent Trap (oh, the innocent, flat-chested sundress days). My curiosity was so piqued that I later went to IMDB.com, where it said that the 10-year-old’s favorite pastime is going to the Burning Man Festival each summer. Hannah, you are a mystery!
At any rate, Lorelai spills about splitting with Luke, and her parents are benignly supportive. Lorelai is thrown into a tailspin, wondering who she is if she isn’t rebelling against her parents’ disapproval. The next day at breakfast, Lorelai launches into a tedious monologue about Pop-Tarts. Her parents never approved of junk food when she was a kid, so she accordingly stuffed her face with it. She always thought she loved Pop-Tarts, but does she really? I love Lauren Graham, but when Lorelai sometimes gets going on these breathless, meatless rants about nothing, I’d give anything for her to shove a Pop-Tart in her mouth and quit yapping already.
Rory is bummed at breakfast too. She had a lame conversation with Logan the night before, and I’m sorry, I don’t care, and Rory, goddamn it, neither should you! Ditch the suit and date anybody else. What about Brian, Zack and Lane’s underused roommate? He seems like a nice guy. Or read a book. Or go back to the DAR. Just snap out of it already.
On an early commercial break, those dreaded Aerie girls popped up again. (For those of you who’ve already upgraded to TiVo, the CW runs a commercial that features a bunch of high school girls in pink or lavender sweaters having a little gab about Gilmore Girls. One Aerie offered a particularly sage take on matters of the heart: ”I think you have to be honest in whatever relationship you’re in.” Well, I think the lot of you girls would rather be watching a Laguna Beach marathon, and probably spend the money you’re making on this little promo buying Marlboro Lights and the new Fergie record. Just being honest!)
Back to the action. Luke’s diner has been reconstructed, and Babette harasses him about what’s different with the place. New lighting? New curtains? New curly fries? There’s something off, and she’s going to nail what’s new. ”I didn’t change a damn thing!” Luke shouts. Oh, David Rosenthal, am I giving you too much credit, or was that a sly little smack-down of us obsessive fans? Well played, sir.
At the SAT-prep-course office, Paris (who went very blond and, I must say, looks smoking) beats up on the dodo high schoolers and her teachers for going soft on them. She needs the students focused, not getting all hot for teacher. Nobody goes googly-eyed on her. ”You know why? You don’t fall in love with people who make you want to crap your pants.” Oh, Paris, I love you. Later, Paris tells Rory that if she’s sick of dud long-distance phone calls with the dud, she should start having dirty text-message sex. And the idea makes little Rory, who showed such a racy side last week, looks like she’s about to take a crap in her pants.
I’m running out of space, so I’m going to jump over the cotillion scene, the strange but sort of sweet conversation between Lane and Zack when they finally discuss the pregnancy, and that icky, shirtless shot of Logan getting ready to talk dirty. Boy, I’d like to see Paris and Logan get together one day. She’d really wipe that smug grin off his face. I’ll end with what I’m sure you’ll all be grumbling about on the boards. Christopher and Lorelai finally meet up in her kitchen (and welcome back to you, Paul Anka!). He tells her that he loves her and that he doesn’t regret their night together, saying, ”You’re it for me.” I miss Luke, I miss Luke and Lorelai, I miss the wedding dress, and we all missed out on the few episodes that should have come before this to give us some time to grieve. That said, I kind of liked Christopher’s outpouring, and scenes for next week look yummy.
What do you think? Do you want Luke to punch Christopher in the face again? Does Logan turn you on or make you want to put on a turtleneck? Emily Gilmore for president?