This just in: According to an amusing tidbit from the number-crunchers at Forbes (and conveyed to us by the good folks at Gawker), Paris Hilton is the world’s most overexposed celebrity, with a 66 percent Overexposure Index from E-Poll Market Research. While I’m not exactly sure what that means, I’d say the company’s top 10 — Hilton, Britney Spears (62 percent), Anna Nicole Smith (57 percent), Kevin Federline (48 percent), Pam Anderson (48 percent), Lindsay Lohan (47 percent), Tom Cruise (47 percent), Nicole Richie (46 percent), Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen (45 percent), Michael Jackson (44 percent), Donald Trump (42 percent), and Jessica Simpson (41 percent) — sounds pretty on-point. To help lil’ Jessica slip from that top 10 slot, I’d suggest following my lead and avoiding her new movie, Employee of the Month (pictured) this weekend. If you’re perplexed by what leisure-time activities might help you avoid this ”comedy,” might I suggest the following:
– Tune in to tonight’s season premiere of Battlestar Galactica (SciFi, 9 p.m.) because, I kid you not, it’s the most exciting show on TV. (Well, at least when Idol‘s not in season.) Even if you didn’t heed my advice to get caught up on it last weekend, you still have to watch it.
– On Saturday morning, you’ll want to log on to EW.com’s TV Watch hub to read Marc Bernardin’s Battlestar Galactica recap. Yes, folks, we do listen to your pleas.
– Your Battlestar duties, however, do not free you from an obligation to Tivo/DVR/or tape Anne Heche’s Men In Trees (ABC, 9 p.m.); Celestia needs you, after all.
– Kill a good hour of your time watching this YouTube clip of the tragically underexposed JJ Fad’s ”Supersonic.” And you better listen good to what they have to say, ’cause when it comes to JJ Fad you can’t get no play.
– Just because you’re OD-ing on new fall shows doesn’t mean you should let your DVD player atrophy in the corner. New to the queue this weekend are X-Men: The Last Stand (starring Huge Ackman) and Thank You For Smoking (with a very funny turn by William H. Macy, who publicly spanked overexposed Bobby co-star Lindsay Lohan in a recent interview).
– And finally, chew on this: While EW’s Melissa Rose Bernardo gives Richard Bausch’s 10th novel, Thanksgiving Night, an A-, most Americans are probably more familiar with the oeuvre of Kevin ”48 percent” Federline. Shouldn’t we all try to do something to change that? Just a thought.