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You may now reconsider dating Mario Lopez

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195614__mario_lStop the presses! Mario Lopez really, really wants you to know that he and his entire-case-of-beer abdomen are absolutely 100 percent available! The recent Nip/Tuck butt-baring guest star told People that despite the rumors in Us Weekly, he and Dancing With the Stars partner Karina Smirnoff have zero chemistry together away from the dance floor. ”Oh, no, I’m single,” Lopez told People. ”Available. Not really looking. When it happens, it happens.”

I believe it. During their pre-dance filler this week, Lopez and Smirnoff (pictured) pounded each other with real boxing gloves and did not look like they were in love! And then he whacked his head against the wall after she forced him to copy a complicated move at the ballet barre. He must have been sooooo mad at her. And then they somehow miscommunicated on the proper way to execute a quickstep. These two are totally not going out!

Reality check: you’ve just finished reading a multi-paragraph blog item about Mario Lopez’s love life. That’s the beauty of DWTS: Suddenly, people care.