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''Nip/Tuck'': Julia gives birth to baby Conor

On ”Nip/Tuck,” as Julia is about to give birth, Sean cheats with a potential nanny; plus, Christian goes to another plastic surgeon for liposuction

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”Nip/Tuck”: Julia gives birth to baby Conor

Just a few weeks into its third season, Nip/Tuck is definitely back. Launching with a bang, this episode treats us to a shot of Christian doing what he does best: getting busy. This time, however, the action isn’t confined to the bedroom; instead, it’s streaming over YouTube. Our favorite ladies’ man has gone Paris Hilton with his own little homemade sex tape. Christian being Christian, he isn’t fazed that his sexcapades are only a click away for anyone with a high-speed connection. He just expresses concern that he’s getting a bit pudgy around the midsection, then exclaims, ”Is that my ass?” upon seeing his derriere. Sean suggests a visit to the trainer. Can the writers be suggesting Christian doesn’t already do some serious training to keep his physique so chiseled? C’mon now, this guy is already ripped.

Continuing the Season of Butts theme, there are full-on shots of guest star Mario Lopez’s tush, as well as both Christian’s and Sean’s (see below for the dirty details of why). Lopez, a Saved by the Bell alum and current Dancing With the Stars hottie, steps in as a fellow plastic surgeon who makes Christian feel out of shape. In what is played off as an oddly fratty, nonchalant encounter, Lopez lipos Christian’s butt. Sean won’t do it because, ahem, he’s off dealing with other issues.

Those issues bring him mountains of much-due guilt, as Sean inappropriately gets involved with a potential baby nurse, Monica. But can all the blame really be put on Sean? Monica plays her ”I’m just a simple girl from Akron, Ohio” card very well, and she knows how to push Sean’s buttons better than any Nip/Tuck vixen I’ve seen before. Adding to Sean’s guilt, he’s torn up about his baby’s handicap. Another potential baby nurse, played by Peter Dinklage (The Station Agent), questions Sean and Julia’s decision to immediately reconstruct baby Conor’s hands. Neither choice is without consequence. Poor Sean really can’t win.

All I have to say about the scenes with Michelle and Liz tussling over what happened (or didn’t happen, according to Michelle) in the parking garage is that they’re super-duper awkward. This story line could be going nowhere fast. Liz can’t be fired (she’s pretty essential to the show), so why even go there? I’m still perplexed, however, about what exactly Michelle is up to. She’s obviously got some secrets. Here’s hoping that when they’re finally revealed, they’re worth the wait.

On the Christian-Sean front, I’m perplexed about what is keeping them apart. They don’t seem to be performing surgeries together anymore; Christian was actually sitting on the other side of the consultation desk when requesting his lipo; and he even missed the birth of Sean’s baby. They’re no longer the united front they once were, and that’s sad. Of course, Sean is busy with the baby drama, but is Christian seriously still fretting over the suggestion that he’s in love with his professional partner? Is that’s what keeping him away? When Michelle presents the two as hypothetical lovers, Christian visibly grimaces. Also, at the beginning of the episode, when he rolls up in his new car (which suspiciously matches the orange color of his shirt), he makes a reference to loving the TV in the dash because he’ll never have to miss an episode of Oprah. Christian, we’ll love you either way — it’s time to be honest with yourself and us, the viewers!

What do you think? What happened to the Matt-Scientology story line, and what should happen with it? What will Julia do if she finds out about Sean’s infidelity? And will Michelle really fire Liz?