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''Weeds'': The mother plant lives

On ”Weeds,” the mother plant survives the non-raid, but Sanjay has destroyed much of the crop; meanwhile, Yael surprises Andy

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”Weeds”: The mother plant lives

The mother plant is present and accounted for, but her life hangs in the balance. Things are tense. Conrad, who really didn’t need to be reminded that he’s surrounded by idiots, has to save Mama from Andy’s panicked and unconventional hydration methods and then tend to a new batch of clones to make up for the ones Sanjay tried to flush. For their part, poor Andy and Sanjay (both of whom must’ve lost many games of hide-and-seek as children) are understandably shaken by the DEA raid. Andy comments that his pretty face would get him unwanted attention in prison, and oh, how ironic that observation will seem by the end of the episode. Who needs inmates when you’ve got Yael and her bedroom accessories? Not only is that moment more than Andy was bargaining for, but it also makes the massage-parlor incident look as risqué as an episode of Blue’s Clues. I say: Mazel tov, Andy! Who knew rabbinical school would open your eyes to so many new things?

Apart from these highlights (sorry, but half the fun of this TV Watch is getting away with these puns), this was not a particularly strong episode. As Celia’s swipe at Doug (”You won’t be able to get a seat in a chair factory”) suggests, the writing was a bit lackluster. Not that the half hour was devoid of fine moments that kept things rolling — like Nancy’s horrified expression when Shane says he’s joining the debate team, and Vaneeta finally getting the nerve to tell off Heylia. But buying Shane a car to help him get past losing Megan and inviting Peter and Conrad out for a nice dinner to smooth things over? Nancy is usually more creative than that (although the black dress was very Lacy LaPlante of her).

Still, I’m sure there’s no reason to panic, just as there’s no need for a panic room. (Actually, just the idea of being stoned in a windowless room with reinforced walls makes me paranoid.) Surely the bloom’s not off the rose, nor the mother plant. I’m looking forward to the possibility that these pedestrian plot points will lead to surprises next week. Maybe shin-kicking Shane will actually get the girl. Maybe Silas won’t wreck his new wheels in the first five minutes. Maybe Nancy will really buy herself a gold tooth!

What do you think? Will Peter and Conrad declare war or call for a truce? Is this really the last we’ve seen of the Armenians? Will Heylia choose her risky business or her scary suitor? Will Dean be able to balance doing virtually nothing to help the grow business and doing virtually nothing to manage his daughter’s career?

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