Michelle Kung
September 13, 2006 at 04:00 AM EDT

”House”: Twin alien brain attack!

As if David Shore & Co. hadn’t already sealed my House love, they go and cross this week’s episode with my favorite series of all time: The X-Files. From the levitating child to the elongated aliens, the spirits of Mulder and Scully were alive and well at Princeton Plainsboro this week. Heck, Clancy, the young, freckly Patient of the Week, even had his own little Leonard — except his quasi twin was the result of in-vitro-fertilization chimerism (yeah, I looked it up on Wikipedia too) and merely made him hallucinate, whereas Vincent Schiavelli’s mini-sibling literally popped out of his body for midnight killing sprees.

Speaking of killing, Wilson needs to start watching his back, especially now that his former roomie knows the truth about his deception and is returning to his pre-ketamine ways. In particular, Wilson’s goading of a clearly limping House by asking him to go for a run and throwing last week’s diagnostic ”failure” in his face made me want to retrieve the diagnostician’s cane from his golf bag and whack Wilson across the knees. It’s one thing to want to teach a friend some humility by withholding information but quite another to taunt, torture, and generally be a bastard to him. It was distressing enough to watch House give up on a case, albeit temporarily, because he’d lost his confidence, but when Wilson’s comments sent the doubting doc on a painfully sobering treadmill run (leading to a mental and physical breakdown), my heart nearly broke. Nobody does angsty eyes like Hugh Laurie. So cry in your office, RSL, cry with your guilt and your Greek-mythology references. You don’t deserve to be forgiven.

Cuddy, on the other hand, can be pardoned, if not for her complicity in keeping House out of the loop about their last patient, then for her dry dig at Cameron: ”She’s not as delightful as she thinks.” As if to make up for the fairly easy (by House standards, that is) illness of the week, the writers loaded the episode with choice lines (House commenting during emergency brain surgery: ”Riding the short bus is better than not breathing”) and hammy antics. Following on last week’s jerky shoulder pat, Chase once again scores the most priceless moment: falling flat with a ”Yo’ mama” retort to Foreman. Listening to Jesse Spencer’s awkwardly Aussie-white-boy delivery was just painful — so painful, in fact, it was utterly hilarious. Running a close second was House’s ”Can you smell what the Rock is cooking” eye arch.

So what do you think? Can House and Wilson’s friendship be repaired post-deception? Could Cuddy actually be pregnant? Or is Lisa Edelstein just working those low-cut blouses especially well this week?

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