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Did you see the one about the sock-monkey gown?

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Inspired by a brilliant — yes, imaginary, but still brilliant — Simpson Family Meeting over at GoFugYourself, I have composed the following imaginary e-mail from sartorially challenged Jessica to her imaginary stylist regarding a very real evening gown made entirely out of sock monkeys. (Click here to see photos and video of said frock — you know I wouldn’t steer you wrong.)

Stacey- Look I know you don’t think I know a DKNY from a Versachie, but the next time I step out for a public affair (LOL!) I want — no, wait — I NEED to be seen in this hot new sock-monkey gown I’m hearing about. You have to find it before anyone else on the pop scene (Cough! Ashlee! Cough! LOL! JK!) gets their grimy paws all over it! Make it happen! Okay? Seriously! Luv U! -Jess