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Settle down, Beyoncé's dad

Posted on

Dear Matthew Knowles,

I just went to Stereogum and read your rambling, badly written press release complaining about how the media is giving too much attention to Beyoncé haters spreading rumors on the Internet, and I have one word for you: Shhhhhhhhh.

No, seriously. Shhhhhhhhh.

Let Sasha’s fierce new song and video for “Ring the Alarm” do the talking. (That ponytail is worth 1,000 words alone.) You go crunch some numbers, or have lunch with Solange, or check in on how Michelle’s doing at her choreography lessons, okay? And remember those sage words from “Survivor”: “You know I’m not gonna dis you on the Internet/’Cause my mama taught me better than that.”

Michael Slezak