August 04, 2006 at 04:00 AM EDT

1 Daniel Radcliffe to be nude on London stage For the purposes of this production, Equus will be renamed Harry Potter and the Bare West End.

2 The Man hits DMX with…traffic tickets Think that’s gangsta? It’s nothing compared with the exploits of young and thuggin’ newcomer Jaywalking-Z.

3 Hasselhoff deemed ”unfit for travel” Now we know why KITT usually did the driving.

4 Kid Rock and Pam Anderson plan multiple weddings in multiple locales In six months, they will cover the same ground on a glorious 19-city ”divorce tour.”

5 Oscar up for auction Brace for a Bay-Ratner bidding war of epic proportions.

6 Britney reportedly fires pool man for befriending K-Fed It’s like a bad M. Night Shyamalan movie with a side of Cheetos.

7 CBS appeals ”Nipplegate” again I’m no legal expert, but maybe they should stop going to the tape? ”Back and to the left” just gets the FCC more lathered up.

8 Paul Hogan investigated for tax evasion ”That ain’t a tax evasion,” he said, slitting open a cash-stuffed crocodile. ”THIS is a tax evasion.”

9 Lance Bass gay Wags say he came out only to cover a bigger revelation: that he is, in fact, an actual bass.

10 Hilton and Richie to make up on Letterman Meanwhile on Kimmel, Simon and Garfunkel agree to five-minute compensatory back rubs.

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