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Scott Brown's Hit List for the week of June 16, 2006

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1 Australian cops play Barry Manilow to deter street punks Big deal. In Singapore, thugs are Sedaka’d without mercy.

2 Charles Gibson denies insulting Africa ”Now Asia,” he continued, ”there’s a crap continent.”

3 Mickey Rourke rumored to back Bush Analysts say the endorsement may go straight to video.

4 Jane Fonda roasted …for approximately the last 30 years.

5 Oprah crashes Tulsa weddings It was a crazy, fun surprise — until she claimed right of prima nocte.

6 Sequel to the Graduate novel announced We’ll finally find out what happened to the baby boomers. I wonder if they held on to their youthful ideals.

7 Tom Green nearly killed by rogue wave Looks like the ocean’s Netflix queue rolled around to Freddy Got Fingered.

8 ”Urkel” suicide an Internet hoax Turns out it was just the despondent ”Urkelbot,” which finally overcame its prime directive not to self-terminate.

9 Couric reportedly announces she’ll end the ”era of pretentious anchoring” in network news Spoke Couric darkly: ”The Legs-a-licious Era is only just beginning…”

10 Saved by the Bell actress sues The National Enquirer for hurting her image Meanwhile, Screech’s suit against God is on indefinite appeal.