”All of Us”
All of Us (UPN, TV-PG-L) Will Smith is hardly a jiggy director. In his hands, this episode about little Bobby (Khamani Griffin, pictured) saying the N-word devolves into a string of preachy PSAs, including a visual montage on the expletive that subtly indicts Richard Pryor. Pryor denounced the N-word long ago, and that’s the real lesson. C
Prison Break (Fox, TV-14-DLV) Find out why the veep set up Linc — besides the fact that most Fox politicos are multisyllabically eeeevilllll.
Honey We’re Killing the Kids! (TLC, TV-G) Hot dogs or clams? To kids, this isn’t a choice, it’s an explanation of heaven and hell.
The Spirit of John Lennon (Pay-Per-View) Imagine there’s someone callous enough to find a new revenue stream from a dead Beatle by holding this séance — it’s easy if you try.
Boston Legal (ABC) Alan has to defend Denny after he shoots his therapist, guest star Peter MacNicol (left), an act that might have Denny ousted from the firm. Alan and Chelina also take on a racially charged case together, leading to some sexually charged moments.
Reel Comedy: RV (Comedy Central, TV-PG) While Robin Williams hawks this slapsticker, maybe he’ll explain why he’s taking the Tim Allen route on this one.
American Idol (Fox, TV-G) What with the nonsensical ramblings of Paula and the near-fisticuffs of Simon and Seacrest, the contestants are just the Muzak between the main acts.
Veronica Mars (UPN, TV-14-DLV) Is Woody creepy enough to stalk his own daughter? Well, he is a politician — but this show isn’t on Fox, so we can’t say for sure.
Scrubs (NBC, TV-14) It’s so cute how J.D. wants to hang with Dr. Cox. It’s like Cox is the boat captain and J.D. is his barnacle.
A League of Ordinary Gentlemen (PBS, TV-PG) Lace up your shoes and grab a ball — make sure it’s not too heavy — for this history of pro bowling.
*check local listings
(Additional reporting by Kate Sullivan)
”Billie Jean King: Portrait of a Pioneer”
Billie Jean King: Portrait of a Pioneer (HBO, TV-PG) Imagine doubting Serena Williams’ ground strokes or the earning power of Maria Sharapova? You can’t, thanks to Billie Jean King (left), who challenged notions of second-class athleticism during the 1960s and ’70s. This doc hits all the milestones — from the rise of feminism and the circus-like Battle of the Sexes to, perhaps most poignantly, the end of her marriage. This inspiring story is told by King and those who know her best, and gives deep insight into the foundation of women’s pro tennis — and arguably all of modern women’s sports. B+ —Raymond Fiore
Alias (ABC, TV-14-V) Bradley Cooper is back as Sydney’s best friend, Will! Like the song says, we will follow him, wherever he may go — except to Kitchen Confidential, which we never really got into for reasons we still can’t quite explain.
Video Justice (Court TV, TV-14) Video evidence is the new DNA, pass it on.
Lost (ABC) Well, it?s better than a repeat, right? Tonight?s episode is a clip show that focuses on the island?s faith vs. science debate. It should also help fill you in on the major plot points from that new episode you missed when you assumed a repeat was going to be on.
CSI: NY (CBS, TV-14-SV) Kid Rock, murder suspect. Pam, oddly aroused by that.
The O.C. (Fox, TV-14-L) American Idol‘s Lisa Tucker shows up at her fake high school just in time for her fake prom after America’s very real refusal to pick up the phone on her behalf. On the regular-character front, Seth comes to the prom with a plan to win back Summer, who?s gone with someone else; and Ryan decides to bring an old flame. There?s bound to be a fist fight before the night is over.
This Job’s a Trip (Travel, TV-G) Folks try out their dream job while on vaca. We thought of trying that at What to Watch, since some of y’all claim you can do this job better. But one or two of you are probably right, so naturally, I quashed that plan.
Season of the Tiger (BET, TV-14) Grambling State University football team and marching band: allies! That’s right, no Revenge of the Nerds culture wars, no band-camp raunch, no misused jockstraps. I’m sure you’ll find a reason to tune in, anyway.
33rd Annual Daytime Emmy Awards (ABC) Rick Springfield sings his hits! Yes, I used the plural.
Sprout’s Spring Surprise (PBS Kids Sprout, TV-Y) Big Bird guest-hosts.
SEASON FINALE, PART 1
Ghost Whisperer (CBS, TV-PG) Melinda always claims that she’s not a psychic, but this time she foresees a plane crash. Face it, Melons, if it looks like Char Margolis, quacks like Char Margolis, and sees the future like Char Margolis, it’s a psychic.
”Saturday Night Live”
SNL (NBC) It?s shorts over skits tonight, with the Ambiguously Gay Duo, Ace and Gary (left, voiced by Stephen Colbert and Steve Carell), hosting a night of the best ”Saturday TV Funhouse” shorts. The cartoon heroes will also interact with the SNL cast and be waaay funnier than Lindsay Lohan.
Can’t Get a Date (VH1, TV-PG) Meet Leticia, a research scientist/champion body builder who gets her hair done by the cleaning lady at the gym. Feel free to be legitimately confused about why you’re still single.
Pearl Harbor (ABC, TV-14-LSV) No, it’s not true! This movie is not where Ben’s career died. Before this was Bounce, Reindeer Games, Forces of Nature…
CSI (CBS, TV-14-LV) That sad one about the family with ”Human Werewolf Syndrome.” Still, it’s better than the furries, the chubbies, or the model who tore her own face off. (R)
HGTV Dream Home Giveaway (HGTV, TV-G) Bad news: You didn’t win the 100 grand or the Blue Ridge Mountains dream house. Good news: Actually, there is no upside for you.
COPS (Fox, TV-14-LV) How big must a joint be for cops to smell it as they drive behind you? Are we talking Cheech and Chong Up in Smoke huge or History of the World ”Sir-I’m-afraid-you’re-going-to-have-to-check-that” ginormous?
Catering Impossible: M:I:3 (Food, TV-G) Don’t be glib. Tom has personally — personally — helped people get off trans fat.
(Additonal reporting by Kate Sullivan)
”Jesse Stone: Death in Paradise”
Jesse Stone: Death in Paradise (CBS, TV-14-DLV) Tom Selleck is not Thomas Magnum in this made-for-TV movie franchise. But his wonderfully sardonic approach to chief of police Jesse Stone could easily be Magnum: Twenty Years Later. In this third adaptation based on a Robert B. Parker novel, Chief Stone hunts a runaway killer, ducks the Boston Mafia, and wrestles with sobriety. What a refreshing departure from cops who use CSIs to make their case: Stone gets the dirt on the bad guy from somewhere besides victims’ fingernails. A- —Paul Katz
The Simpsons (Fox, TV-PG) ”Super lady” Frances McDormand is the new school principal — score one for feminism! And then she dumbs down math for girls — score one for Barbie.
Mystery!: Jericho (PBS, TV-PG) Horatio Hornblower‘s Robert Lindsay is Scotland Yard detective Jericho. Don’t even try to front — I had you at Hornblower.
*check local listings
The Sopranos (HBO, TV-MA) ”A.J. looks to ‘diversify.”’ You don’t have to think as little of the dude as I do to assume that means he’s adding black and Asian girls to his rotation.