Michael Slezak
April 24, 2006 AT 12:00 PM EDT

Happy eBay, er, B-day to Barbra Streisand and Kelly Clarkson, who respectively turn 64 and 24 today. I decided to celebrate the occasion by heading over to the world’s largest online auction house to shop for kitty lamps wait for the clock to hit 6 p.m. see what kinds of eBay search results you get by typing in these popular divas’ names.

As of 3:30 p.m. Eastern time, Babs accounted for a whopping 1,113 items, and a short while later, a search for the original American Idol yielded 909. But while Barbra leads Kelly in sheer numbers, which songbird has the strangest assortment of memorabilia?

Streisand certainly takes the title for funniest item description: ”A Love Like Ours (CD 1999) – GAY?”, although I think the Babs lightswitch cover is at least 63 percent more homosexual. There’s also a (cough) impressive assortment of artwork featuring La Streisand, including a framed charcoal lithograph and a fetching 14×17 poster. One item Clarkson doesn’t have and probably never will: an 8-track. But hands-down, the oddest Barbra item up for bids has got to be a pair of false eyelashes she wore in Hello Dolly. (Barbra’s conjunctivitis not included.)

The Clarkson items, not surprisingly, skew a little bit younger. You can cover your bookbag with an assortment of eight Kelly pins or plaster your bedroom with awesome Kelly posters and pictures! Of course, if you’re more of a raucous, rockin’, and over-18 fan of the ”Since You Been Gone” singer, there’s a charming cigarette case and lighter emblazoned with Kel’s saucy visage. And I don’t know about you, but I’ll sleep better tonight on my brand new Kelly Clarkson pillowcase. (Hope she doesn’t mind staying up late to watch BBC World News.)

Okay, PopWatchers, with which Kelly or Barbra items are you most likely to wake up? Or are they mostly going to keep you up at night? I know, I know; the lightswitch cover is going to take some getting used to.

addCredit(“Kelly Clarkson: Lester Cohen/WireImage.com; Barbra Streisand: Kevin Mazur/WireImage.com”)

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