We gave it a D-
Futuristic vamp Violet (Milla Jovovich), in the early goings of the lo-fi sci-fi thriller Ultraviolet, warns someone, ”Don’t overthink it.” Sage advice for anyone masochistic enough to watch this pile of poorly pixelated vampire poo. Yet it’s impossible to take: Crank your brain to its lowest possible idle and you’ll still overthink Ultraviolet. Set in a generic, crudely rendered futuristic dystopia (the computer imagery is sub-Tron), the story picks up in jabbery voice-over, telling how the military, while trying to build supersoldiers, made a vampire virus instead, then launched a genocide to correct its mistake. The Big Bad is one Vice Cardinal Daxus (Nick Chinlund), a germophobe with tea strainers up his nose. Violet’s a freelance member of the ”Hemophage” resistance who dispatches legions of faceless evildoers to bloodless, badly choreographed deaths, changes her hair color at will, all but refuses to wear entire shirts, and engages in conversations like this: ”He’s not dead!” ”What do you mean?” ”I mean he’s alive!” At least she’s not overthinking it.