EW Staff
December 23, 2005 AT 05:00 AM EST

Nick & Jessica Sever Their Allied Front NOV. 23

After months of the press asking, ”You divorced yet? How about now? No? What about now?” Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson finally announce their separation. The couple releases a statement asking the press to ”respect our privacy during this difficult time,” and tabloid reporters hiding behind their hot tub wipe away tears over just how sweet and naive young out-of-love can be.

Madge Close to Breaking The King’s Record NOV. 25

It’s reported that on next week’s Billboard singles chart, Madonna will tie Elvis Presley’s rock-era record when ”Hung Up” becomes her 36th top 10 hit. But the smashes probably won’t stop there: At 47, the Material Girl is still productive, so we can look forward to not only her breaking the record, but also many more years of uncomfortably averting our eyes when she strips down at MTV awards shows.

CBGB’s Quasi-Lease on Life DEC. 7
Following five years of battles with landlords, rock club CBGB — an early showcase for the Ramones — agrees to vacate on Halloween ’06. Owner Hilly Kristal says he hopes to find a new Manhattan location for the eclectic club and start a branch in Vegas. Because checking out a prog-rock/ska/klezmer fusion band is every tourist’s perfect chaser after seeing Sinbad at the Aladdin.

Bennifer II Have A Baby Girl DEC.1
Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner welcome a baby girl, Violet. Childbirth is a truly beautiful moment…but then again, compared to Surviving Christmas, so is pancreatitis.

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