The Island: Merrick Morton
Kirven Blount
December 13, 2005 AT 05:00 AM EST

It was The Island director Michael Bay’s fervent hope that the concept of clones created to provide backup organs for the squire-archy of the not-so-distant future would imprint on audiences; but the dopey doppelgängers’ rudimentary understanding of the world seems to have infected the filmmakers instead. How else to explain anti-tofu jokes, a riff on the word dude, and a line like ”There’s one universal truth, and that is you never give a woman your credit card”? The action is unrelentingly exquisite, but McGregor and Johansson are left with vacant looks and naïveté in the boudoir. EXTRAS The best part of the grandly named ”Future in Action” doc is when a truck destroys a $600,000 camera; Bay’s commentary reveals that (a) the dude bit was his idea, and (b) he normally smashes ”about two or three megaphones” in the course of a shoot.

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