Frankly, we’re surprised it took them this long: Last week’s South Park — in which young Stan discovered that he might be the reincarnation of Dianetics author L. Ron Hubbard, then insulted Scientology mascot Tom Cruise’s acting, causing the devastated star to hide in the closet despite many, many people (including R. Kelly) imploring him to come out of it — was so harsh it included threats of lawsuits within the episode, and every single end credit read either John or Jane Smith. Funny stuff, but we wonder how that sort of Cruise-bashing is going to go over with Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s new bosses: Paramount Pictures just inked the dudes to a three-year deal. Other people with Paramount deals? Oh, just, you know, Tom Cruise. Should be one hell of a studio Christmas party.