”The purse girl hits everything on my checklist: creamy skin, straight teeth, curly hair, amazing breasts — not for me, for my children. The Schrutes produce very thirsty babies.” DWIGHT (RAINN WILSON), ABOUT A WOMAN SOLICITING IN THEIR WORKPLACE, ON THE OFFICE
”There is no way that my ancestors did this.” MODEL NAIMA, ON ROUGHING IT IN THE BUSH BEFORE A PHOTO SHOOT IN SOUTH AFRICA, ON AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL
”I think if her dad and I had any more alone time, he’d be getting a rose.” CHARLIE O’CONNELL, AFTER SHOVELING SNOW WITH ONE OF THE FINALISTS’ FATHERS, ON THE BACHELOR
”Tom Cruise admitted that he’s dating actress Katie Holmes, who was only 5 years old when Risky Business came out. Not only that, she was only 10 when she realized Cocktail is unwatchable.” CONAN O’BRIEN, ON LATE NIGHT
”No one who has won on American Idol ever sings in my car.” CARTER (BILLY CAMPBELL), ON THE O.C.
”You never forget how to fight. It’s like beating up a bicycle.” STAN, ON AMERICAN DAD
”It’s tough organizin’ Indian labor” ROB, TRYING TO GET LITTLE KIDS TO HELP HIM PUSH A WOODEN ELEPHANT DOWN THE STREET, ON THE AMAZING RACE