We gave it a C-
Turns out that the private parts of greedy businessman/womanizer Benito Gonzalez (Javier Bardem, who is prominently featured on the DVD cover grabbing said area) aren’t all that treasured in Golden Balls, Spanish co-writer/director Bigas Luna’s ode to machismo (his follow-up to 1992’s sex comedy Jamón, Jamón, which also starred Bardem). Instead, they just get him into trouble. With little more than dreams of Rolexes and, well, cojones, Benito marries a banker’s daughter, Marta (Maria de Medeiros, Bruce Willis’ wide-eyed girlfriend in Pulp Fiction), in order to fund the construction of Gonzalez Tower (cue recurring phallic imagery). But his avarice leads to ruin: Devoted Marta, having agreed to a threesome with Benito, draws the line when he brings home a money-hungry cocktail waitress (Raquel Bianca) he just met; his cheaply. . .erected building, having failed inspection, is demolished; and Del Toro pops up as the ”friend” who robs what’s left of Benito’s manhood. The Sea Inside‘s Golden Globe-nominated Bardem proves here that he had talent early on, as he immerses himself in a real, unlikable character (for which he received a Goya nomination, Spain’s Oscar equivalent). But the film’s heavy-handed symbolism and melodramatic plot just come across as forced. EXTRAS Nothing but two dialogue tracks: Castilian and Spanish.