February 14, 2005 at 05:00 AM EST


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Mtv’s Cribs takes us inside the security gates of the rich and famous, proving celebs decorate just like us. . .except they don’t shop at JC Penney. Which is why it’s so brilliant that the Cribs line — a home-furnishings collection launched by MTV Feb. 4 — is available exclusively at JC Penney. MTV can’t attribute the products to specific celebrities, so we took the liberty. (Iguana not included.)

FAUX-FUR PILLOW Like a tiny square polar bear! That sheds! Because we are celebrities and wear all black, this is bad. But so soft! Imaginary Celebrity Inspiration MISSY ELLIOTT B

SEQUINED PILLOW Like a tiny square Elvis! Doesn’t shed, but one concern: the marks the sequins would leave on your face if you fell asleep on the couch watching Room Raiders. Imaginary Celebrity Inspiration MARIAH CAREY B

AMBER BEDDING Maroon polka-dotted sheets are complemented with a swirly purple comforter that glistens ever so subtly and reverses to a wacky zebra print. For the stylistically schizophrenic. Imaginary Celebrity Inspiration ANDY DICK C

CHANDELIER LAMP It took us more than a half hour to assemble this thing, so that pretty much pulled us out of the celeb experience. Perhaps it should come with an entourage to help put it together. Imaginary Celebrity Inspiration NELLY B-

ZEBRA-PRINT RUG It’s thickly tufted, soft to the touch, and hysterically rock-star tacky. The perfect backdrop for that drug-fueled orgy. Imaginary Celebrity Inspiration TOMMY LEE A

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