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Too Brief a Treat

EW offers ''Queer Eye'' some pointers

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Dear Fab Five: With Valentine’s Day near, it’s time for a heart-to-heart about our rocky relationship. Surely you’ve noticed your ratings for Queer Eye for the Straight Guy (Bravo, Tuesdays, 10 p.m.) have yet to rebound to season 1 highs. That’s why we’ve lovingly crafted a plan to make you the apple of our Eye again.

We need space That three-month break between seasons 2 and 3 barely counts. Two QE specials aired during that time.

Don’t rush to start a family Fold Queer Eye for the Straight Girl into your series. Diversify makeovers to include women. Shorten your name to just Queer Eye. And remind us that nobody does it better.

Less talk, more action Leave the self-help mumbo jumbo to Oprah. Scrap the one-on-one chats and post-makeover events.

Keep taking cues from Extreme Makeover: Home Edition Remember your Jan. 11 episode with a hubby-dad being shipped off to Iraq? That jerked more tears than a viewing of An Officer and a Gentleman.

Sweet-talk NBC into airing QE eps again And borrow their talent for QE spots: Waxing with Conan! Tooth whitening with Katie Couric! A hot-oil treatment with The Donald! Okay, maybe not that last one.

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