Picture it, a conference call, 2004: Three Golden Girls gather for a reunion. They laugh, they reminisce, they insult one another as only old friends can. Betty White (a.k.a. the naive Rose), Bea Arthur (sarcastic Dorothy), and Rue McClanahan (narcissistic Blanche) go on and on about kids, pets, Bea’s Broadway show, and, finally, The Golden Girls: The Complete First Season. All that’s missing is partner-in-crime Estelle Getty (feel better, ma!) and a cheesecake.
On the DVD, there’s a fashion commentary…
BW There is?
By Joan and Melissa Rivers. A kind of catty critique.
BA Who are they to — Judy Evans, who did the costumes, was brilliant. BW I’m still wearing half of them. RM I had it in my contract that I got to keep mine. I had to buy a new house to keep them in. BA I think they’re out of their minds. RM Bea, have you seen how Joan Rivers dresses?
Let’s talk cheesecake.
BA I haaate cheesecake. I never eat it. RM That was the best cheesecake in the world. BW You want the real story? RM Here comes a lie. BW You know craft services? The first couple weeks, Ruthie put on a couple pounds, so she went on a diet. But she figured anything you ate on camera was not fattening. RM Liar, liar, pants on fire! This is how I did it. I would put a bite of cheesecake on my fork and put it toward my mouth. When the camera cut, I put it in a plate under my chair, and I pretended to be chewing. BW Bea, are you buying any of this? BA No. Do you realize that was 19 years ago? RM My God, you girls were my age then!
That was such a Blanche comment.
BA I have a date with Judge Judy at 3 o’clock. RM I’ll be getting a shiatsu. BW That’s my little dog. RM A massage. It’s good for you. BW Well, happy shiatsu to you. BA And to Joan and Melissa, too.