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The inside scoop on the ''Dallas'' movie remake

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If that CBS Dallas reunion special (Nov. 7) made you wistful for the glory days of neckline-plunging, face-slapping entertainment, rejoice! ”J.R., Sue Ellen, Miss Ellie — they’re all coming to a big screen near you!” says screenwriter Robert Harling (Steel Magnolias). Harling, an ’80s TV enthusiast — ”Knots Landing was Balanchine, as far as I’m concerned” — recently met with director Robert Luketic (Legally Blonde) about casting a Dallas movie (tentatively for 2006). He wouldn’t comment on rumors that Brad Pitt is an early choice for J.R. But he did give up that his Southfork residents live in a post-Enron world, with J.R. at the helm of Ewing Energy and Lucy Ewing vamping like a Hilton. ”It’s Dallas on acid,” he promises. ”Every woman in the cast is Lady Macbeth and every man is Macbeth.” Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the original Bobby ”It Was All a Dream” Ewing has his doubts: ”It’s one thing to have a new James Bond,” says Patrick Duffy. ”But to have to duplicate hundreds of millions of people’s [idea] of ‘Who is Sue Ellen? Who is Pam? Who is J.R.?’ That’s a lot to ask an audience to do.” Because Dallas fans find it so hard to follow twists.