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TV's funniest quotes for the week of August 13, 2004

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”I was court-ordered to Alcoholics Anonymous on television. Pretty much blows the hell out of the second A, wouldn’t you say?” PAULA POUNDSTONE ON THE LATE SHOW

”It’s not you. It’s not you. It’s just what you’re saying.” ROB CORDDRY, AFTER YAWNING WHILE INTERVIEWING JOHN KERRY’S COMMUNICATIONS DIRECTOR, DEBRA DESHONG, ON THE DAILY SHOW

”Brad Pitt ought to sue his ass for slander any time he says he looks like Brad Pitt. He looks like a damn armpit!” MARVIN, TALKING ABOUT JASE, ON BIG BROTHER 5