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TV's funniest quotes for the week of July 30, 2004

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”Tony Danza has his own talk show now…. It’s my fault; I lowered the standard.” DAVID LETTERMAN ON LATE SHOW

”It’s Die Hard at Disneyland. What’s not to love?” HOLLYWOOD AGENT ARI (JEREMY PIVEN), DISCUSSING A SCRIPT WITH ERIC (KEVIN CONNOLLY), ON HBO’S ENTOURAGE

”I killed a man down South once.” PERENNIAL CHAMP KEN JENNINGS, MAKING UP A FRESH FACT ABOUT HIMSELF, ON JEOPARDY!

”I think they’re going to be nice enough. A little ditzy, maybe. I wouldn’t be opposed to making out with either of them.” FARMER’S SON SKY, ABOUT PARIS AND NICOLE, ON THE SIMPLE LIFE 2

”Ever since John Kerry named John Edwards as his running mate, a 34-year-old Indiana bail bonds-man named Kerry Edwards has received offers as high as $30,000 for his website, kerryedwards.com. Interestingly, Texarkana used-car dealer Nader Camejo has gotten nary a call.” DENNIS MILLER ON CNBC’S DENNIS MILLER

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