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TV's funniest quotes for the week of July 23, 2004

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”When they busted into my house, they asked me, ‘Do you have any marijuana in your house?’ And I said, ‘Of course, I’m Tommy Chong.”’ THE RECENTLY FREED TOMMY CHONG, RECALLING THE EVENTS LEADING UP TO HIS ARREST, ON THE TONIGHT SHOW

”She is a sweet girl, but let’s not ask her to do any long division anytime soon.” WILL, TALKING ABOUT FELLOW HOUSEGUEST HOLLY, ON BIG BROTHER 5

”In an interview in Esquire magazine, Donald Trump said if he were President, he would’ve caught Osama a long time ago. Then somebody explained to Trump that Osama and Omarosa are not the same person.” CONAN O’BRIEN ON LATE NIGHT

”It’s kinda weird to see Spider-Man getting attacked by a guy with man boobs.” COMEDIAN CHRISTIAN FINNEGAN, ABOUT ALFRED MOLINA’S DOC OCK, ON BEST WEEK EVER