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The Public Eye

TV's funniest quotes for the week of May 14, 2004

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”By the way, it’s official — I can’t have children.” DEBBIE DOWNER (RACHEL DRATCH) ON SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE

”She’s been such a big part of my life. It feels like when Melrose Place got canceled.” CHANDLER (MATTHEW PERRY), LAMENTING RACHEL’S (JENNIFER ANISTON) DEPARTURE, ON FRIENDS

”Can I ask you something? How do you get yourself into these things? Does she have a picture of you wearing culottes or something?” HAILEY (AMANDA RIGHETTI), AFTER KIRSTEN (KELLY ROWAN) WAS ASSIGNED TO FIND A STRIPPER FOR JULIE’S (MELINDA CLARKE) BACHELORETTE PARTY, ON THE O.C.

”There’s not going to be no wardrobe malfunction this evening…. If it does happen, I’m going to wipe out the first three rows.” DOLLY PARTON AT THE CMT 2004 FLAME WORTHY VIDEO MUSIC AWARDS