Entertainment Weekly

Subscribe

Stay Connected

Subscribe

Advertise With Us

Learn More

Skip to content

Article

TV's funniest quotes for the week of March 19

Posted on

”Do you own, like, shorts?” ELLEN DEGENERES TO PRINCE, ON THE ELLEN DEGENERES SHOW

”When they say we’re getting close to Osama, do they mean emotionally?” COMEDIAN PAUL F. TOMPKINS, ABOUT THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION’S HUNT FOR BIN LADEN, ON VH1’S BEST WEEK EVER

”According to MSNBC, an employee at NASA’s mission control announced he’s bored with his job and has decided to become a porn actor. The NASA employee said, ‘What can I say? There’s a lot of things I’d rather probe than Mars.”’ CONAN O’BRIEN ON LATE NIGHT

”This photograph looks like the battery’s died in her vibrator.” JUDGE JANICE DICKINSON, CRITICIZING APRIL’S PHOTO SHOOT, ON AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL

”He’s probably scared to death.” TOM ARNOLD TO THE APPRENTICE BOOTEE OMAROSA, AFTER SHE CLAIMED HER HUSBAND IS SHY, ON THE TONIGHT SHOW

Comments