Ten songs that oughta be in commercials
Johnny Cash’s family was horrified when a company proposed that his classic song ”Ring of Fire” be used for a hemorrhoid-ointment commercial. As disrespectful as it may have been, c’mon — it fits! And with Justin Timberlake singing for McDonald’s while Missy Elliott and Madonna rap for the Gap, it’s downright cool to sell out these days. Here are 10 hits and the products they should shill.
SONG ”I’m Really Hot,” by Missy Elliott
WHY Burning up the dance floor means something altogether different when you’re having a menopausal hot flash.
SONG ”You Don’t Know My Name,” by Alicia Keys
PRODUCT Ginkgo biloba
WHY If you’re calling your wife ”my pretty lady” because that’s all you remember about her, it’s time to fix your short-term memory. Or pack.
SONG ”I Like the Way You Move,” by OutKast
PRODUCT Allied Van Lines
WHY Nothing is more moving than watching big sweaty guys lift your box of crystal stemware so you don’t have to.
SONG ”Slow Jamz,” by Twista
WHY When the jam is thick, it takes a while to spread it on the bread.
SONG ”Fallen,” by Sarah McLachlan
PRODUCT Senior Medical Alert
WHY For the times when you’ve, you know, fallen and can’t get up.
SONG ”Come Clean,” by Hilary Duff
WHY To get your TV screen squeaky-clean — just like Duff’s movies.
SONG ”Dirt Off Your Shoulder,” by Jay-Z
WHY After all, your whites should be just as sparkling as your bling-bling.
SONG ”Wat Da Hook Gon Be?,” by Murphy Lee
PRODUCT Sylvan Learning Centers
WHY If your child is picking up spelling from this song, call immediately.
SONG ”Addicted,” by Enrique Iglesias
WHY Paying four bucks a pop for coffee? Don’t tell us you’re not hooked.
SONG ”Some Girls (Dance With Women),” by JC Chasez
PRODUCT The Showtime series ”The L Word”
WHY Do we really need to explain this?