Not a football fan? Here’s what you could be watching on Sunday instead of the big game.
THE BLOOD BOWL (9 AM-11 PM, SciFi Channel)
Think things get ugly on the gridiron? Watch these seven horror films — ”Wishmaster” I through IV, and the inexplicably numbered ”Phantasm II” and ”Prophecy” II and III — and you’ll get some perspective.
NICKELODEON TAKES OVER THE SUPER BOWL (11 AM-NOON, CBS)
Before the big game, CBS is letting kids call the shots. Nickelodeon stars Jamie Lynn Spears (”All That”), Brent Popolizio and Candace Bailey (”U-Pick Live”), and others will take over the CBS Sports desk and run amok in an unsuspecting Houston. The stars of ”Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban” and ”Scooby Doo 2” will drop by to see what kind of mess can be made. Brace yourselves for green slime.
COPS MARATHON (NOON-7:30 PM, F/X)
Know any sluggish quarterbacks? Tell ’em to tune in to this ”Cops”-a-thon, which features more running, darting, and sidestepping than most professional football games. And most of the soon-to-be cons do it all with blood alcohol levels way above the legal limit!
THE QUEER EYE/GAY WEDDING MARATHON (NOON-MIDNIGHT, Bravo)
After all, not ALL men want to watch the Super Bowl. From noon till 8, Bravo will air episodes of the monster hit ”Queer Eye.” From 8 to midnight, they get all mushy by showing their successful ”Gay Weddings” series in its entirety. (FYI, parent network NBC will also have a ”Queer Eye” marathon — from 8-11 PM)
THE SUPER BAWL (NOON-3 AM, WE Network)
The distaff network pays tribute to the chick flick with a marathon of classic tearjerkers starring Cher, Meryl Streep, Reese Witherspoon, Jane Fonda, and (sniff) Judd Hirsch. Grab your Kleenex, people.
THE LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE MARATHON (1 PM-MIDNIGHT, The Hallmark Channel)
Who could pass up a heaping helping of Half Pint in this full day of episodes of the long-running 1974 series? The Pats and the Cats have got nuthin’ on the bitter rivalry between Laura and Nellie.
THE FOOTBALL HEAD MARATHON (2-6 PM, Nickelodeon)
Tune in for episodes of the smart kid cartoon ”Hey Arnold” and marvel at the pigskin-shaped structure of poor Arnold’s skull.