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Silly Figures

What counts in Fox’s comedy of heiresses, The Simple Life.

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As rich girls Paris Hilton (above, left) and Nicole Richie learn the hard way that The Simple Life is a tough road to hoe, we tally their progress, episodes 1 through 3.

— Cost of pre-farm Dior shopping spree $5,335 — Number of awkward silences with host family 4 — Times the girls sneak out 1 — Number of chickens that need pluckin’ 6 — Times they whine ”Ewwwwww!” 19 — Times they shriek ”Oh, my God!” 16 — Times they wail ”I’m gonna die!” 8 — Money each earned before being fired from the dairy farm $42 — Money each earned in one day of toil at burger joint $56 — Outfit changes for Paris’ pooch, Tinkerbell 5 — Number of expletives bleeped 12 — Times Paris’ butt crack is blurred 4