Bob can be as slutty as the other Bachelors
We all love Bob — the ”Bachelor” producers couldn’t shut up about it in last week’s intro-to-Bob segment, professing that America DEMANDED him as the show’s next star after that fool Trista eliminated him.
I count myself among the masses who have swooned over those curly locks, that aw-shucks Midwestern demeanor, and that funny-guy vibe. He just seems so darned nice. With the down-and-dirty group dating in full swing this week, it’s getting a little tough to watch him doing the ”Bachelor” thing.
In other words, he can seem just as slutty as the bachelors before him. Yes, that’s the nature of the show — he’s dating 25 women at once on television — and I’ve always loved it that way. But Bob isn’t supposed to be like other guys.
I watched him ”connect” with Meredith during the first group date, and she seemed calm and genuine and sane — I could see why he liked her. He showed genuine interest in her culinary-school ambitions. He kissed her gently as they lay on a hotel-room bed.
And suddenly I found myself hoping he’d live up to my fantasy of him by abandoning this ridiculous TV dating game and running off with her. Yes, it would ruin the entire show. But it would be worth the sacrifice.
Then came the next group date, where my ideal of Bob dissolved a litle bit during a dip in the pool, with Misty’s bikini-friendly bod luring him quickly away for another make-out session. He regained some nice-guy points during a serious one-on-one discussion with Estella about her deaf father, but then a new ”Bachelor” twist — the elimination date — forced him to break L.A. Clippers dancer Lindsay’s heart by sending her home in an impromptu rose ceremony. (Brilliant dramatic move: We got the kind of fantastically bitter crying-in-the-limo scene normally reserved for the finale, with Lindsay blubbering, ”I really think Misty should be in this limo.” I’m with you, Lindsay.)
The third group date truly did its best to make Bob look like a jerk, sending the crew to a burlesque show where the bachelorettes inevitably ended up on stage twirling feather boas and writhing for his attention. Mary put on a stand-out performance by hiking her skirt up to almost censorable levels (a feat that did not go unrewarded in the final rose ceremony). But Lee-Ann was the star of the night, dragging Bob to a private room for some tongue-on-tongue time (a feat that did not go unnoticed by her competitors).
In the end, though, the final rose ceremony restored my faith in Bob. He did give roses to all three of his make-out partners (no Aaron Buerge kiss-and-dis moves here). The women who left — Jennifer, Kristi, Lanah, and the other Lindsay (the pharmaceutical saleswoman) — were duds. And maybe I’m reading too much into this, but he did give Meredith the first rose.