Jessica Shaw
September 12, 2003 AT 04:00 AM EDT

He’s not sexy. He’s not funny. And he makes Evan Marriott look like a Rhodes scholar. He’s the wrongest of the wrong on a show that could not be any wronger. He’s Temptation Island 3’s Michael, a 25-year-old Noo Yawkah, who is quite possibly the person least deserving of finding love. ”Everything’s completely innocent but it’s not gonna be so innocent,” says Michael, trying to use his native tongue to explain how he’ll spend this time away from his girlfriend, former Miss Noo Yawk, Melissa. While the other guys look for a grain of integrity in Island’s sand, Michael proves his IQ is even lower than that of the average Fox reality contestant with profundities like ”Wanna see my abs?” and ”Right now I’m definitely the life of the party.” Single women, rejoice: This man is taken. — Jessica Shaw

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