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Oscars 2017
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Sound Bites

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”Is this chicken what I have, or is this fish? I know it’s tuna, but it says chicken by the sea.” JESSICA SIMPSON, TRYING TO FIGURE OUT THE ORIGINS OF TUNA FISH ON NEWLYWEDS: NICK & JESSICA

”They were probably not even salty, because they probably come from some little tube attached from her eye that she remote-controls with her index finger.” JUN, ANALYZING HOUSEMATE ALISON’S CROCODILE TEARS, ON BIG BROTHER 4

”Well, there’s a lot less time to get high.” CHRIS ROCK, EXPLAINING HOW FATHERHOOD HAS CHANGED HIM, ON LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN

”Christina Aguilera and Justin Timberlake were forced to cancel a week of shows because during rehearsal, a giant scaffold collapsed. Neither singer was injured, but workers promise to try again next week.” CONAN O’BRIEN ON LATE NIGHT

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