1 CAMERON DIAZ Someone’s threatened to release racy pictures of her unless she pays an outrageous sum for the negatives. Don’t pay it, Cameron, don’t!
2 LARA CROFT TOMB RAIDER 2 More women might get into archaeology if they weren’t required to wear sprayed-on silver spandex body stockings to work.
3 MADONNA She’s agreed to do a stint as a spokesperson for the Gap. Yeah, we run into her in there all the time.
4 ANN LANDERS’ REPLACEMENT Okay, if you’re asking a columnist for advice, the answer is you need better friends.
5 BILL CLINTON The former Prez is compiling a cookbook with recipes from famous friends. ”Tell the cook how many people are coming to dinner. Go play golf until ready.”
6 KILL BILL Quentin Tarantino’s ultraviolent film will be cut into two parts to avoid editing. The solution came to him during a knife fight with producer Harvey Weinstein.
7 RETOUCHED BY AN ANGEL J. Lo had her famous butt reduced on the poster of her new film, Gigli. Why is it on the poster? Does it have a speaking part?
8 SEABISCUIT The story of an unlikely jockey and an unlikely horse who become racing legends. It’s so inspirational — sniff — it makes you want to gamble away the rent money.
9 SPY KIDS 3-D Since no one else seems to be able to do it, two precocious kids have been sent to fact-check the President’s next State of the Union address.
10 DIVA LAS VEGAS Elton John is considering doing a semi-permanent show a la Celine Dion in Sin City. His twist: He wants to do something where each song sounds different.
Full House redux! John Stamos gets new show for ’04 … Harry
Full House redux! John Stamos gets new show for ’04 … Harry Potter’s film home fails to meet 400K minimum at U.K. auction