Jim Mullen
May 30, 2003 AT 04:00 AM EDT

1 MADONNA Some guy claims remaking Swept Away was his idea and she never paid him for it. If she were smart, wouldn’t she want to pay him for claiming the lame thing was his idea?

2 CHATEAU POP-TOP An Australian winery now offers chardonnay in a can. No thanks — I’ll wait for the merlot.

3 TONGUE SPLITTING The latest cringe-inducing mutilation for the body-piercing set comes with its share of concerns. First and foremost: which side gets the stud.

4 WEDDING SEASON You know it’s not a good sign when the bride is registered at Jacoby & Meyers.

5 BRUCE ALMIGHTY When God takes a vacation he leaves funnyman Jim Carrey in charge and with all his powers. Naturally.

6 JFK Some say the former White House intern who confirmed she was one of his mistresses was not a very gifted office worker. But to land that gig, she must have been good at something.

7 ANNIKA SORENSTAM What’s the real reason men are so afraid to play golf with her? According to one, when she wins, ”it makes me feel less pretty.”

8 DISPOSABLE DVDS Disney is planning one that’ll ”self-destruct” 48 hours after opening. They’re made out of children’s toys.

9 THE IN-LAWS Secret agent Michael Douglas initiates boring future in-law Albert Brooks into the world of mystery, deceit, and intrigue. Wait — he gets him a job at an oil company?

10 BRIGITTE BARDOT A new book by the aging French Charo criticizes the influence of artists and Muslim immigrants on her country’s culture. Oh, so they’re the reason gas is $4 a gallon.

Hugh Jackman hosts Tony Awards June 8… Hayley picks Will on


Hugh Jackman hosts Tony Awards June 8… Hayley picks Will on ‘Mr. Personality.’ America yawns

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