Jim Mullen
May 02, 2003 AT 04:00 AM EDT

1 MADONNA They say if you download her songs off the Internet, she swears at you. She’d probably swear a lot more if you didn’t.

2 MICHAEL CRICHTON The Jurassic Park creator gives his fourth wife $31 million in their divorce settlement. He came home early one night and caught her reading Stephen King.

3 THE REAL CANCUN The producers of MTV’s The Real World captured hordes of drunken college kids on spring break being drunk. Hmmm. How did they know that was going to happen?

4 IDENTITY Ten strangers trapped in a remote desert motel only to be murdered one by one. The upside: It’s only $39.50 a night.

5 BRAD PITT’S BUTT Madame Tussaud’s in London has put a squeezable tush on its wax mannequin of him. Next up: the ”pull my finger” Clooney.

6 EVEL KNIEVEL There’s a musical in the works about the professional daredevil. The stunts are easy enough — the toughest thing for the cast is singing with their jaws wired shut.

7 PROM SEASON The first time most high schoolers get to go out and act grown up. But remember, you can’t go unless you find a babysitter for your kids!

8 IT RUNS IN THE FAMILY Kirk and Michael Douglas play father and son in this film about fathers and sons. Save the 10 bucks and fight with your own dad.

9 EMINEM His rep denies that the tough-talking rapper likes to pamper himself with a nice facial once a week. He’s too busy doing typical macho stuff like shopping for jewelry and hats.

10 THE GREAT ESCAPE A videogame that lets you pretend to be Steve McQueen — most effective if played in ”the hole.”

Katie Couric, Jay Leno swap gigs May 12… Brits vote Arnold’s


Katie Couric, Jay Leno swap gigs May 12… Brits vote Arnold’s ”I’ll be back” top exit line

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