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The ''Amazon'' women are the real men

The women are the real men. In the newly combined tribe, the gals are holding all the power — and it’s not so attractive for either sex, says Dalton Ross

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Roger Sexton, Survivor: The Amazon
Survivor Amazon: Monty Brinton/CBS

The ”Amazon” women are the real men

It just goes to show you the old adage is true: When guys get around a pair of breasts (real or not), they do really, really dumb things. Here they are at the merge with a 6-4 advantage in numbers over the women, and what do they do but shoot themselves in the collective foot. Now, I don’t necessarily blame Rob for instigating an alliance with Deena. He probably felt like he was never gonna make it past the Roger, Butch, Dave troika anyway, so didn’t have much to lose by trying to shake things up.

But why go so far? Why include every woman under the Amazon in the alliance? If he had just brought Deena (and maybe Jenna) over to his team with Matthew and Alex, they would be sitting pretty, but with Heidi and Christy apparently in the mix, and Deena on a men-are-scum rampage, they’re now DOWN in numbers 4-3. Does he really think the way things stand now (and granted, change happens fast in the ”Survivor” universe) that they’ll keep him over a fellow female, and especially one who is deaf?!? I don’t.

So with all the mistakes they’ve made, and all the stupid stunts they’ve pulled, the women, incredibly, now seem to be holding all the power. On one hand, it’s nice to see. The guys have all been cocky bastards since the moment they arrived. But on the other hand, it’s hard to root for the supposed underdog when their members either always keep talking about how great and underestimated they are (Deena) or continue to act like embarrassing posterwomen for Brains Aren’t Us.

Did Jenna and Heidi understand that they didn’t have to completely strip down naked for a glob of peanut butter and could’ve just jumped off fully clothed? I guess old habits die hard. (Speaking of Heidi, is it me, or is she starting to bear an uncanny resemblance to feared He-Man archenemy Skeletor? If Skeletor was packing double-D’s, that is.)

Now I’m certainly not defending Roger, who was sent packing by the new bigender alliance. He’s proved himself to be an overbearing, sexist homophobe who practically rewrote the ”Survivor” manual on how to make everybody hate you. (That bit where he started banging his machete first thing in the morning to wake up all his hung-over tribemates was a whole chapter unto itself.) In fact, it started becoming SO obvious SO early he was gonna be the one voted out that I figured Mark Burnett was just setting us up for another shocking Tribal Council twist at the end.

I guess the only shock was in how clueless Roger was to the entire movement against him. Now he’ll no longer get to sit around the campfire chugging down Coors Lights and reminiscing about the ”weirdest place you ever had sex.” Bummer for him. As for the rest of the guys, they began this journey sleeping under a banner that read ”Believe in yourself,” but unless they come up with a new strategy soon, the only things they should be believing in are some early tickets home. (Yes, I know, they stay there to be on the jury, but let a man have his clichés, won’t you?) And to Rob: Deena may just have one of those Casey Kasaam long distance dedications for you as well? and sooner than you think.