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The women vote off their strongest player

The women vote off their strongest player — JoAnna, though annoying, was Jaburu’s best chance to outplay the men, says Dalton Ross

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JoAnna Ward, Survivor: The Amazon
JoAnna Ward: Monty Brinton

The women vote off their strongest player

Okay, it’s now official. The women are stupider than the men. And I’m not saying that because the men have a computer programmer and rocket scientist among their ranks. Nor am I saying that because I happen to be a member of the male gender. No, I’m saying that because the women decided to go and vote off their strongest member and instead keep around a person who — are you ready for this? — CAN’T EVEN WALK!!!

Nice strategy! I mean, the guys may be a bunch of self-serving, smack-talking knuckleheads (as described previously in this here column), but even hanging up that cheesy ”Believe in Yourself!” banner isn’t half as bad as this new development over at Jaburu.

We expected such tomfoolery from the likes of Heidi and Jenna, who may have voted off JoAnna due to the fact that ”bigger women have more fat to live on,” and because ”she was just trying to pick on the fact that we’re cute girls,” but Deena proved she may actually be the dumbest of them all, first of all aligning with the younger girls (which makes her older, less bodacious body the first to go out of that group when the time comes), and then saying she needed to get rid of JoAnna early because ”she is so strong.”

HELLOOOOOOO! You might need that strength if you plan on beating the men in the remaining group immunity challenges, because if you all go into the merge low on numbers — game over. Yes, you get rid of your strongest competitors, but that is AFTER you make it to the merge with as much of your tribe intact as possible.

Now I’m not sitting here as a JoAnna fan. If I were in that camp, her endless chatter, bizarre fear of the immunity idol, and promise to ”shut you down with my hand,” would’ve certainly had my eyes a’rolling, but not to the point where I would have ditched her over — once again — A PERSON WHO CAN’T EVEN WALK!!!

Did you see poor Shawna stumbling all over the place? She practically begged her tribemates to vote her out, and they STILL wouldn’t do it! Shawna even voted for Christy at Tribal Council so that JoAnna would get one less vote against her, but it didn’t matter and now she is basically imprisoned there. By her friends.

While this ridiculous turn of events was the meat of the show, we did get a glimpse into the kinder, gentler men’s tribe as well. Matthew tried desperately to make friends, and catching that big bass will certainly help in that regard. The fellas also broke their embarrassing losing streak by taking home a case of Coke (love that product placement, especially the ”money shot” of the celebratory winners chugging down some icy cold ones), and then winning that lame-as-hell immunity challenge where they were basically sent off to fish.

Note to Mark Burnett: The only thing more boring than fishing is watching people on TV fishing. You wanna have some real fun? Make ’em SWIM with the piranhas. Now THAT would have been great.

So now the fellas are back in the game, and judging by scenes for next week, things aren’t gonna get any better for Shawna. Well, maybe if she were a ”bigger woman,” and had ”more fat to live on,” things would be different. And while she and her fellow tribemates may be going hungry, one thing they won’t be tasting much of is victory if they continue to keep her around.