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Sound Bites

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”I was always stuck in the mold of trying to please everybody except myself, so now I please myself — and that sounds really weird.” BOB on The Bachelorette: The Men Tell All

”Roman Polanski will not be able to come to the Oscars because he is still wanted in this country on charges of having sex with a 13-year-old girl. After hearing this, Michael Jackson said, ‘A girl? That’s disgusting!”’ CONAN O’BRIEN on Late Night

”I thought we were going to the movies. I was looking forward to seeing Vin Diesel — I heard he’s got a new facial expression.” Jack (SEAN HAYES) to Will (ERIC MCCORMACK), on Will & Grace

”Scientists have invented a smart bra that tightens its own straps when the wearer needs more support. Even more impressive, it beat Anna Nicole Smith at Scrabble.” JIMMY FALLON on Saturday Night Live