Here’s who should replace Lisa Ling on ”The View”
Wanted: twentysomething woman to bring a dose of attitude and a modern age philosophy to a daily roundtable dish on politics and culture. Must swoon with dignity over male celebrities and worship the ground that Barbara Walters walks on. Pays well.
That’s right. On Dec. 5, fans of ABC’s daytime estrogen couch trip ”The View” must bid farewell to Gen X ambassador Lisa Ling. Given the show’s turnover rate (Anyone remember blondie Debbie Matanoplous?) we figured they could use a little help on the casting couch. Here’s who we’d pick.
Sherri Shepherd You don’t know her by name, but this African American, full-bodied sass-factory steals scenes on ABC’s ”Less Than Perfect.” So, if she can outshine boisterous Andy Dick, imagine what she could do to Star ”I’m a lawyer!” Jones. Granted, Sherri’s not fresh out of college, but the fact that she toughed it out as a side player on NBC’s ”Emeril” kind of kicks up her crazyoung factor a notch.
Angie Martinez Martinez has a few claims to fame — Hot 97 DJ, hip hop recording artist — but she’s best known for backing out of a judging gig on ”American Idol 2.” Her reason was pretty cool: She felt ”uncomfortable” dissing the kids that helped her get to where she is today. She has a soul. She obviously wants to be on TV. The question is, can she cover the range of hot topics?
Pink They could get rid of that muzac intro with Babs’ voiceover and replace it with ”Lets Get this Party Started.” Pink would send the attitude-o-meters off the charts. And, she’d bring a refreshing vibe of spontaneity after the excessively professional and mannered Ling. Finally, mugs of coffee would be replaced by 40s of malt liquor.
Kathy Lee Gifford Right now, we all live in fear of Cody’s mom’s return to pop culture radar. If she joined ”The View,” we wouldn’t have to be scared anymore. And her kids could have cook-offs with Meredith Vieira’s tweens. Culinary segments aside, whether or not you like Kathy Lee, you must admit that the girl can gab. And her Nantucket-meets ”tacky-cruise-ship” sensibility would undoubtedly spice things up.
Jennifer Love Hewitt Don’t go bashing your computer. Just think about it. When you look up twentysomething silliness in the dictionary, this Neutrogena touting, Wonder Bra of a wannabe pop star jumps from the page. She would cow tow to Babs in all matters political, turn Meredith green with envy, do a keen job of masking her outrage at Star’s waistline, and pretend to understand Joy’s jokes. The ladies of ”The View” would love to hate Love. Bonus: Full time daytime gig = no time for recording albums destined for the $5 bin and picking up laundry with John Mayer.
Robert Evans So the legendary Paramount producer can’t bring a twentysomething perspective, but I bet he beds a lot of twentysomethings, and that should count for something, right? This kid stayed in the picture, but I’d like to see the gravel voiced lothario stay in the coffee talk with the likes of quick-witted Joy Behar. And Bob can be depended on to hit on guests and skew every conversation back to his Ali Macgraw-lovin’ heyday in the ’70s. I’ll drink a martini to that.