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Restaurant Row

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He’s a peace-spewing, follicularly challenged vegan, she’s a Pepsi-swilling, navel-baring starlet. But both Moby and Britney Spears have recently launched NYC eateries. Here’s EW’s gastronomical guide.

The Look

NYLA Yards of chiffon, candles, and a suspended walkway that screams, ”Britney, we’re not in Louisiana anymore!”

TEANY Moby restyles a former hair salon as a country-cozy teahouse in NYC’s supertrendy, gritty Lower East Side.

The Food

[NYLA] Artery-clogging down-home grub like crab cakes, sauteed greens, and hominy stew — but it’s the scene, not the nosh, that matters here.

[TEANY] Carnivores, beware. The meat-free bistro fare includes such dishes as the Teany Turkey Club (”non-turkey,” tempeh bacon, and veganaise).

Star Wattage

[NYLA] Britney, Jessica Simpson, Deborah Gibson, and David Copperfield sloshed in for June 27’s rainy, disastrously mismanaged opening.

[TEANY] Moby drops by daily, and Andy Dick, Adam Goldberg, Susan Sarandon, and Jason Schwartzman have been spotted.

Tchotchkes

[NYLA] Nary a Spears gewgaw in sight…though one wonders why one vodka/champagne/mango juice cocktail is named ”Naughty Lolita”

[TEANY] None, unless you count the Moby-designed floor mosaic of his signature cartoon, Spaceman

The Music

[NYLA] The same fizzy, inoffensive bossa nova you hear on popular electronica compilation CDs

[TEANY] A mishmash of classical, punk, and Brit faves from the manager’s personal collection

Seating?

[NYLA] They may say they’re booked…but on one recent visit, we eyed quite a few empty tables.

[TEANY] Please. The proletariat will feel right at home in this unassuming joint.

Cost

[NYLA] The $18-or-so entrees could send Britney’s pizza-prone fans running to the ATM.

[TEANY] At about $8 an entree, a meal for two runs about the same as a couple of Moby CDs.

The Dish

[NYLA] Not a total failure, not yet a mild success. And where’s the bare-midriffed waitstaff?

[TEANY] Low-key, affordable, and it’s even kinda good for you — a slice of Zen delight

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