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Simon's top 10 worst ''American Idol'' disses

Simon’s top 10 worst ”American Idol” disses — Simon Cowell is the heart and bile of Fox’s reality TV smash. EW.com counts down his harshest rebukes

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A.J. Gil, Simon Cowell, ...

We could use this space for a psychological analysis of Simon Cowell’s cruelty. We could speculate on the ”American Idol” judge’s anal attachment to proper song lyrics or his lack of an inner editor. But who are we kidding? That’s why we love him. In honor of our favorite London loudmouth, we count down Simon’s top 10 worst disses (apologies to those reading who may have been on the receiving end — we know it still hurts):

10. ”Jenny, that was extraordinary. Unfortunately, extraordinarily bad.” –to an off-key blonde in the first round

9. ”It was an ambitious song for you to sing, because I don’t think you’re that kind of singer. I don’t think you’re that good.” –to semifinalist Tenia Taylor, who tried to do her best Whitney Houston

8. ”From one to 10, what would you give yourself? I’d give you a one. My advice would be if you want to pursue a career in the music business, don’t.” –to an early auditioner who thought she’d done a great job

7. ”I don’t believe Cassandra has a singing talent. She’s completely wasting her money. A complete waste of money. If you want to achieve what you want to achieve, you will not do it with your voice. Sorry.” –to a first-round hopeful after Paula Abdul encouraged her to pursue singing

6. ”I can honestly say you are the worst singer in America.” –to the skinny white boy who didn’t hit one note right

5. ”Can I tell you what I thought, Rose? Your audition was horrendous with a capital ‘H’…. What angers me is that people like yourself who have the most attitude have the least talent.” –to the Alicia Keys wannabe who fumbled through ”Fallin”’

4. ”I think you’re a boring performer. The laugh was hideous. I think you’ve blown it.” –to the weepy A.J. Gil, who went on to become a finalist

3. ”When you entered this competition, did you really believe that you could become an American Idol? [Contestant nods affirmatively.] Well, then, you’re deaf. Thank you. Goodbye.” –to a Seattle hopeful who missed every note

2. ”Are you taking singing lessons? Who’s your teacher? Do you have a lawyer? Get a lawyer and sue her.” –to the blonde in the supershort shorts who sang a window-shattering version of ”Lady Marmalade”

1. ”If you win this competition, we will have failed.” –to Jim Verraros, before he advanced to the semifinal round

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