Wook Kim
June 21, 2002 AT 04:00 AM EDT

1. Okay, complete this sentence: Marilyn Manson is to music as ______ is to a sandwich.

[Pause] I have no idea.

2. How about, The Osbournes is to pop culture as ______ is to a child.

[Pause] I don’t know.

3. Well, why don’t you give me the first thing that pops into your head?

I don’t think I could give you an answer. I really don’t keep track of these things. [Long pause]

4. Uh, okay. Rank these performers in order of their importance: P. Diddy, Korn, and ‘N Sync.

I really don’t know. [Pause] I don’t want to slag anybody.

5. Which of these historical events best describes your work:

(A) Prohibition (B) a moon landing (C) the Great Depression?

[Long pause] I couldn’t give you an answer.

6. Your role as the frontman for Counting Crows is most like what character in The Simpsons?

[A flicker of interest. Chuckling.] Mr. Burns.

7. How many calories are there in an average piece of hard candy?

I’m not sure.

8. Dude, should I call back when you’re awake?

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