1 Hollywood Ending Woody Allen plays a director who is temporarily blind. So what, it’s an Adam Sandler movie?
2 Robert Blake He posted $1 million bail for his bodyguard. It’s almost as if he’s sure the bodyguard didn’t do it.
3 Sean Hayes Will & Grace’s flamboyant friend will play Jerry Lewis in Martin & Lewis. He wanted to play Dean Martin, but the producers couldn’t see him as a straight man.
4 Spider-Man A teen bitten in a lab gains spiderlike powers. Like the ability to scare the bejesus out of you in the bathroom.
5 Frontier House The PBS series shows what it was like living in 1883. Some things haven’t changed; most nights there was nothing worth watching on TV back then either.
6 Johnny Carson The ex-late night host has learned to speak Swahili. And the Kenyans have learned to say ”How cold was it?” in English.
7 Peter Jennings They say ABC wants him to take a pay cut. But where would they find someone willing to work two and a half hours a week for less than $7 million?
8 Kelly Ripa’s Book Club Her first choice is a mystery by the editor of Cosmopolitan. It’s called How to Lose 10 Pounds Solving Crime.
9 Laverne & Shirley Together Again Only now they work in a Metamucil factory and share an apartment in Tampa-St. Pete.
10 Henry Winkler The Fonz will replace Whoopi Goldberg producing Hollywood Squares. He also plans to play her part in the remake of The Color Purple.
11 Deuces Wild A movie about gang feuds in 1958 Brooklyn. It’s like West Side Story — without all the singing, dancing, and plot.
12 The Honeymooners 50th Anniversary Celebration Let’s guess: Ralph was planning to get Alice a nice present but he squandered all the money on a silly get-rich-quick scheme.
13 Anna Kournikova The tennis star claims nude pictures in Penthouse are not of her. Their readers didn’t complain; they wouldn’t recognize her by her face.
14 The Diddys Puffy Combs may let cameras trail him like the Osbournes. It could be the start of a new series — MTV: Unarmed.
15 Prom Season Some students wore outfits made of duct tape. They’re still screaming from the pain of taking them off, though.