1 The Osbournes It’s so successful MTV is planning six more reality shows. The Rodmans, The Buttafuocos, The Grubmans, The Thorntons…
2 Phil Donahue The pre-Oprah host is reportedly talking to MSNBC about a prime-time gig. Today’s topic: Are there too many old white guys on the all-news channels?
3 Once And Again The much-loved but little-watched show has been canceled. The last episodes will just be called Once.
4 Tobacco Tablets A lozenge of ground-up, compacted tobacco. A solution to the age-old problem of too-fresh breath.
5 Garth Brooks & Trisha Yearwood Rumor is they’re dating. I didn’t even know they were related.
6 David Gest Liza’s new husband continues to face rumors about his sexuality. One easy way to stop the whispering: adopt a baby in Florida.
7 Louis Rukeyser He wasn’t attracting those hip, young investors to Wall Street Week. Oh yeah, there aren’t any.
8 Magic Johnson He might run for mayor of L.A. He’s tired of being well-respected and popular; he wants to be a politician.
9 The Winter Egg The jewel-encrusted Faberge bauble could bring $4 million to $6 million at auction. To hell with the egg, bid on the chicken.
10 National Lampoon’s Van Wilder The trials and tribulations of a student’s seventh year of college. What does it say when you’re 25 and still use a fake ID?
11 Panic Rooms Wealthy paranoids are spending upwards of $100,000 to have a place to hide from home invaders. They never heard of a back door?
12 Donna Karan The designer broke her knee heli-skiing. The most painful part: finding out casts don’t come in black.
13 High Crimes Lawyer Ashley Judd defends her husband, who may be guilty of war crimes, at a murder trial. Gee, honey, how was your day?
14 Amadeus: The Director’s Cut So what were we watching the first time? The Pool Cleaner’s Cut?
15 Drought Alert They’ve had to turn off the fountains in New York City. And we’re not allowed to water our concrete.