NEWLY SINGLE WHITE POP GODDESS — not girl, not yet woman — ISO androgynous man-boy to share long walks in rain and joint concert tours. Must supply own hair gel and multiplatinum recording career. Turn Ons Sequins, virginity (or reasonable facsimile), snake play. Turn Offs Lou Pearlman impressions, Jessica Simpson, Mickey Mouse Club jokes. No man controls my midriff!
NEWLY SINGLE IRISH-AMERICAN FILMMAKER, tall, dashing, repetitious. Seeks arm candy for short strolls down red carpets. Send head shot and viable script for Irish-themed New York City-set romantic comedy. Turn Ons New York City, comedy, Irish themes, models. Turn Offs Variety. Catalog models need not apply!
DEEP-POCKETED MIDDLE-AGED STUDIO ISO title for latest installment of major spy-spoof franchise. We’re afraid of the bar scene — particularly the California bar and potential MGM lawsuits — so figure this is worth a shot. We’ll supply star cameos, evil midgets, and go-go boots; you bring the innuendo! Turn Ons Double entendres, Bondage. Turn Offs Any resemblance to any title of anything ever.