1 E.T. THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL Spielberg’s made some minorcomputer enhancements for the 20th-anniversary edition. Forexample, this time E.T. looks like Brad Pitt.
2 AWARDS PLUG-OLA You’ve just won an Oscar, where are you goingnext? To return the necklace to Harry Winston, the dress to VeraWang, the butt to the prop department.
3 ALL MY CHILDREN For a price, the soap is plugging Revloncosmetics. So you’ll look your best when being buried alive.
4 BABY BOB A series about a talking baby. If that doesn’t getratings, they’ll teach him how to box.
5 BLADE II Wesley Snipes is half man, half vampire. That’s anice way of saying he gets up at noon and drinks all night.
6 BRITNEY SPEARS The well-known chef is reportedly opening aManhattan restaurant called Pinky’s. ”How’s the souvenir T-shirttoday?”
7 BEST LIVE-ACTION SHORT What does that mean? It sounds like sexwith a midget.
8 JENNIFER LOPEZ She’s coming out with her own fragrance. Itwill be called J. L’ Eau.
9 SPACE TOURISTS For 10 million frequent-flier miles, you’ll beable to ride a mini-space shuttle. They’re still working out afew kinks, like making the food suck and the seats too small.
10 WEDNESDAY 9:30 (8:30 CENTRAL) A behind-the-scenes comedyabout a struggling TV network. If it’s a hit they’ll move it toThursdays at 10.
11 SORORITY BOYS Three college guys pretend to be coeds.Originally titled Dude, You Forgot to Shave Your Stomach.
12 THE KNIGHT RIDER MOVIE David Hasselhoff wants to bring hiscrime-fighting, gadget-filled talking car to the big screen.Seems it can do everything but write a script.
13 GREG THE BUNNY A sitcom where people and puppets don’t getalong. It’s like the U.N. with fur.
14 THE NANNY DIARIES The best-selling tale of rich Manhattanmoms and the children they ignore. The authors wrote it so theycould afford nannies.
15 LIZA MINNELLI A tabloid says she wants to adopt four childrenfrom different cultures. Movies, Musical Theater, Society, andHair & Makeup.
”It was easy to get out of his punishments, but, man, he’s a good yeller — ol’ yeller. A good screaming could put me in my place.” — Drena De Niro, on her father (and Showtime costar) ROBERT DENIRO