1 Super Bowl Pools Bob in accounting just won $600. He was so excited, he forgot to shred sensitive documents for a few minutes.
2 Winter Olympics Faster, higher, stronger. The athletes are talking about contract negotiations, product endorsement fees, and sports agents.
3 Fear Factor: Playmates You really want to see them tremble? Give them a math quiz.
4 John Edward The Crossing Over host is developing a TV drama. Will the title have a J in it? Or maybe an E?
5 Mardi Gras A rowdy spectacle of debauchery and drunkenness. I hear they do something in New Orleans, too.
6 Birthday Girl Nicole Kidman plays a Russian mail-order bride. The bad news is she had to gain 100 pounds and grow a mustache for the part.
7 Enron They’re planning a merger with Kmart, Global Crossing, and Andersen. The new company will be called Moron.
8 Survivor The season premiere where they’re stranded in the South Pacific without food. There’s only one fate worse: to be stranded there without TV cameras.
9 Garfield There are plans to make a movie starring the famous lazy cat. But he wants his cut in lasagna—gross, not net.
10 Slackers The latest in college kids’ high jinks. Remember, teens and good movies don’t mix.
11 Lisa Bonder Kerkorkian The mother of a billionaire’s 3-year-old daughter wants $320,000 per month for child support. ”No dinner till you put your jewelry away!”
12 Robert Redford The aging legend will receive an honorary Oscar for his body of work. It’s the first time it’s ever been awarded to a healthy person.
13 Noelle Bush The president’s niece got arrested trying to buy prescription drugs illegally. There must be easier ways to meet Robert Downey Jr.
14 Dr. Loretta Lynn She’ll receive an honorary degree from the University of Kentucky. In philosophizin’.
15 Kim Delaney The Philly star has been accused of DUI. But she thinks she should get credit for swerving to miss all those little pink elephants.