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Meet the new ''Real World'' cast

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The Real World
The Real World Chicago: Rudy Archuleta

It seems almost disrespectful to start a new ”Real World” season just six weeks after the last one ended. Usually after a finale we have a good six months to reflect on the departed cast. But now — BAM! — the makeup on Nicole’s face is barely dry and we’re expected to erase her, Mike, Coral, et al from our minds and embrace a Chicago septet. It would be an impossible task… if this new cast didn’t seem so delightfully sexed up, worked up, and messed up. (Their super-swanky pad has been decorated so trendily that by 2006 it will look as dated as Greg Brady’s bell bottoms.) Judging by the Jan. 15 premiere (MTV, 10 p.m.), here are the roomies in a nutshell (emphasis on the word ”nut”).

ANEESA, 19 Aneesa is a lesbian. How do we learn this? Because she uses the word as often as some people use the word ”uhh.” And just in case someone misses the point that Aneesa is open about her sexuality, she insists on romping around the bathroom naked. She’s the biggest tease since Dallas’ ”Who Shot J.R.” cliffhanger. Theo lusted after her the whole episode, and how did she let him know she wasn’t interested? By sharing a bedroom with him, and hopping into his shower naked. (Brief note: MTV is clearly doing all it can to make sure there is some intrahouse boot-knocking this season. A two-person shower? Sex books scattered around the apartment? Is the roommates job going to be working at a phone sex line?) When Aneesa splashed around in the bathroom with Theo, she had the nerve to get angry when he started talking dirty. Did she expect a studied discourse on Ivory vs. Dial? I know no means no, but for the record, ”I’ll wait for my shower until you get out” makes for an even more effective ”no.”

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